“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood…”
(Ephesians 6:12, NKJV)

We’ve all been there. The sting of betrayal, the ache of being misunderstood, the pain of those who should have lifted us up, instead tearing us down. To be lied about and misrepresented when our hearts are genuinely striving to do what is right—it cuts deep. It’s a wound that can fester, tempting us to cling to our hurt and defend our position. But I believe the Lord is calling us to a higher way, a kingdom way.

The Spiritual Cost of Clinging to Offense

There’s a subtle but dangerous trap we can fall into when we’ve been wronged: holding onto the “right” to be offended. We might declare forgiveness with our lips, but in our hearts, we secretly nurse the wound. We might find ourselves revisiting the narrative, perhaps with a sharp tone, subtle bitterness, or a desire for others to know the full extent of our pain. This, my friends, is a spiritual burden, and it hinders our walk in true freedom.

The Spirit of God has been whispering a profound truth to many of us: “You have forfeited the right to have enemies.” This isn’t a suggestion; it’s a divine mandate for those called to reflect the nature of Christ.

Consider the words of our Lord Jesus in Matthew 5:44 (NKJV): “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” This command isn’t a mere platitude; it’s a call to radical, supernatural love. It doesn’t mean that what was done to you was right or acceptable. It means that as followers of Christ, we choose a different path—a path of surrender, of releasing the need to gossip, to endlessly recount the offense, or to nurse the wound in our souls.

A Deeper Examination: Letting the Holy Spirit Search Us

Sometimes, we may genuinely believe we’ve “moved on,” yet the Holy Spirit often reveals areas where healing is incomplete. Take a moment to allow the Spirit of God to search your heart:

• Does a sharp tone or subtle sarcasm surface when the name of one who wronged you is mentioned?
• Do you still harbor a secret desire for others to know the injustice you endured?
• Is there a part of you that hopes for their failure, so that “the truth” might finally be revealed?

If any of these resonate, do not despair, but understand that there’s a deeper work of healing to be done. It’s not about condemnation, but about transformation. We must deal with these unhealed places to truly walk in the fullness of God’s peace.

Called to Christlikeness, Not Vindication

Our human nature craves vindication. We want to be justified; we desire to explain our side of the story fully. Yet, the Kingdom of God calls us to something higher than being “right”—it calls us to be Christlike.

Romans 12:18 (NKJV) instructs us: “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” This powerful scripture means surrendering our need to be vindicated, our desire for others to see the “truth” as we perceive it. It means entrusting our case to the only One who sees all, knows all, and will ultimately handle all things with perfect justice. Our peace is far more valuable than our pride.

The Examples of Jesus and the Apostles

Our ultimate examples in this spiritual journey are Jesus Christ and His apostles. Were they spared from hurt and betrayal? Absolutely not! Jesus, the Son of God, was lied about, reviled, falsely accused, and ultimately crucified by those He came to save. Yet, from the cross, His cry was, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34, NKJV). He did not rail against His accusers; He did not nurse His wounds. He displayed the ultimate act of love and forgiveness, becoming the very embodiment of the Gospel.

The apostles, too, faced immense suffering, persecution, and betrayal from within and without. Paul recounted being “in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren” (2 Corinthians 11:26, NKJV). Yet, their focus remained steadfast on the preaching of the Gospel and the demonstration of God’s love. They understood that their true battle was not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces (Ephesians 6:12, NKJV). Their hurts became platforms for the glory of God, and their suffering a testament to the power of the cross. They forfeited their right to have enemies, choosing instead to be vessels of love and reconciliation.

Embrace the Kingdom Mindset

This journey is not easy. Forfeiting our right to enemies demands a profound level of spiritual maturity and a kingdom mindset. It means understanding that our citizenship is in heaven, and our methods are not of this world.

You have a choice. Even if you have been undeniably wronged, you can either:

• Cling to your offense, or
• Cling to your peace.

You cannot truly have both.

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Call to Action

Let this truth penetrate your heart today. Forgiveness is not about forgetting; it is about releasing the one who hurt you from your emotional prison, and in doing so, releasing yourself. Spiritual maturity means intentionally giving up your right to retaliate, to speak ill, or to harbor bitterness. Jesus never promised ease, but He did promise that following Him would be eternally worth it. True healing extends not just to your actions, but to the very thoughts and words you entertain when no one else is watching.

Has the Holy Spirit been dealing with you concerning this truth? Is there someone you need to fully release, not just in outward actions, but deep within your speech and thoughts? Now is the time to take action. This is a call to a higher walk, a more profound surrender, and a deeper experience of the peace of God that surpasses all understanding.